Sometimes I do things that are so breathtakingly dumb that I feel compelled to put myself out there as a lesson to everyone. Therefore, I decided to start a new blog series called Remedial Living.
Ladies and gentlemen, do as I say, not as I do.
When you purchase a semi-permanent at-home haircolor kit and it comes with a “color refresher sachet” for use two weeks after the initial coloring,
When you’ve reached your perfectly ideal shade of dark blonde/lightest brown several weeks after coloring your hair with the aforementioned kit but still apparently cannot just sit back and enjoy it for, like, A DAY OR TWO, because eventually it will wash out and your hair will be light blonde again even though RIGHT NOW IT’S PERFECT,
When the instructions for this thing read,
1. Shampoo as usual.
2. Put on gloves.
3. Apply this entire color refresher sachet and distribute evenly through the hair.
4. Leave on for five minutes.
5. Rinse thoroughly and style as usual.
When it seriously calls itself a COLOR REFRESHER SACHET, for Christ’s sake,
When it’s not a sachet at all but just another cheap foil packet with a “tear here” at the top,
When you open the “sachet” and bright red goo spills out everywhere, immediately staining your shower walls on contact,
When you squirt the bright red goo into the palms of your hands and rub them together, immediately staining them too, because OF COURSE you don’t have gloves (who keeps the gloves from dyeing their hair several weeks ago not only on hand but IN THEIR SHOWER?),
When you don’t have a mirror in your shower (who has several-weeks-old gloves AND a fog-free mirror in their shower?) and therefore really have no earthly idea if you’re distributing anything evenly or not,
When you usually have a hard time simply rinsing ANYTHING completely from your hair and your boyfriend regularly tells you that you still have a sudsy patch just above your forehead after you get out of the shower,
When the thing looks like THIS,
For the love of God, DON’T apply it to your head.
Unless you want to end up with palms that look like you need an intervention for your spray tan addiction and accidentally red hair for the next, oh, 4-6 weeks.